Always/never

Use less or carefully

Two words — always and never, and its variants speak about something that valid at all circumstances. I want to reflect on few of the uses of it — some important, and some extremely harmful.

1. In situations of commitment : During the ceremony of marriage or in many occasions of commitments (may not be all), we take the vow to be faithful, and this is for always.
2. Regarding universal laws : We speak of a ball thrown up, coming down always as it is related to the law of gravity.
3. After certain extremely powerful experiences, especially negative like trauma or abuse : We use the word always/never to denote certain situations. For eg: a girl sexually abused may say a statement like, men are always evil. We don’t (and can’t) forget the trauma which is the immediate cause of such statements; and the healing process will also involve in many cases modification of the certain statements with always/never.

I don’t think any of these as problematic, as there are some reasons/causes for the use of the same. In the third case, a long healing journey will help the person to look at the reality, blurred by the trauma of the difficult situation, differently.

I now like to bring certain other statements which we use in our political or cultural spheres, which creates difficulties in the long run.

1. Politicians are always corrupt.
2. Everything is fake in the social media.
3. All Muslims are terrorists. All Christians are converters. All Hindus are extremists.
4. All youngsters are addicts of drug.
5. All white people are intelligent.
6. All white people are racists.

Now what are the problem of these statements. They are factually false, as there are many non-corrupt politicians and so on. Sometimes, we use these statements as cliches. It is very easy to frame such sentences and give a big discourse. It is difficult to say statements which are closer to the reality and it may not give such a punch — some things are fake in the social media. It is not so interesting to say such statements.

And it also shows the lack of thinking we sometimes possess. Seeing a few terrorists who were Muslims, we conclude (illogically) that all Muslims are.

Beyond all these, they help me to label and demonize a group. The group suddenly becomes evil. In some cases, it canonises a group, as in the case of the example statement of white people being intelligent.

This also helps me to homogenize a group — all their differences with regard to that particular quality mentioned in the statement is easily forgotten, and they became one group. And finally such statements become the source of extreme pessimism. If all Hindus were extremists in India (and such a statement assumes it), the possibility of living in India becomes almost impossible unless I too become an extremist.

Ask yourself, how often I use such statements?

I am not saying that all our statements of always/never are used with malice or prejudice. Sometimes, it is so casually uttered . We may not be even aware. And I might say, I am using it, but I don’t mean any of the aspects mentioned above. Sure, that benefit of doubt exists.

But when such statements become part of our life, it automatically shows lack of judgement or discernment that we may possess. We become part of the multitude or mass (never the people/citizens) who can be easily manipulated by a political, cultural, social, religious or intellectual leader. Or we easily become die-hard of the leaders who is “always” right or can “never” lie.