Forgiveness
A unifying area of struggle
Many of us, sorry, most of us have difficulties connected to forgiveness. Not only Christians, all humans struggle more or less in these areas. Young struggles… adults struggle… priests and religious too… yes, two areas which unify most of us. That’s a consoling feature. But one not consoling feature comes as Paul says, “None of us lives for oneself, and no one dies for oneself. For if we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord;” We have to live for Christ, and on the cross, Christ made a prayer to the father…. Forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing. Not just a prayer, but he also tries to justify them. Not by saying that what they did is right, but by saying that they didn’t know what they are doing.
Yes, our solidarity with each other should be shown in forgiveness. But why to forgive? A simple, yet profound answer is that … it is the style of Jesus. Jesus gives that vibe of forgiveness. We too are invited to follow that vibe. Even from a purely psychological point of view, forgiveness is for the well-being of any person. So, for a Christian living in the contemporary world, their faith and the science tells us that forgiving is one good option. In my basic identity as a Christian, forgiveness is very much present. We have to experience it fully, that we can forgive others too.
To whom we should forgive? Probably I will say the first person is myself. A girl was cheated by a guy with whom she was in a relationship. Once she clearly saw it, she broke out of the relationship. Now she can’t forgive that guy, which is very normal and understandable. I still feel it’s important for her to live a life free of the baggage of that relationship. But she can’t forgive herself too. Why? When she reflects back, she sees some of the past signs as red flags. They were not red flags at that time, now it is. And she finds it so difficult to forgive herself. Forgiving is not easy, but unforgiveness is like giving the power back to the person who has done wrong to you.
Forgetting is not forgiveness. Just because I forgive, that event is not forgotten. But the power of that event on me is gone. I definitely learn the lessons learned from that event. Learning lessons is very important. Else forgiveness may not promote justice always.
We too should never forget the forgiveness we have received. Else it will become like that unforgiving servant of the gospel.
How many times I need to forgive? Jesus is crazy here. It is not 7…. It is not 70+7…. Its not 70*7. Its not mathematics here. Jesus says forgive. It doesn’t make much sense for Gandhiji to forgive the British as he fighting them. It doesn’t make sense for Martin Luther King to continue to love in the midst of all struggles. It doesn’t make sense for Maria Goretti to forgive the boy who brutally stabbed her for not allowing to rape her? It doesn’t make any sense for the parents of Sr Rani Maria to forgive the person who murdered their daughter? It doesn’t make sense to forgive in many occasions.
But these examples also show us that the senseless activity of forgiveness brought peace among countries and groups; it brought transformation to individuals; it brought life; it broke the chain of violence. It opens new channels to live. Jesus invites each one of us also to receive forgiveness from God and others and to forgive. Amen.
