I thank you (Lord) for the wonder of my being

Appropriate Self Esteem

I thank you (Lord) for the wonder of my being. This is a slightly rearranged version of Psalm 139:14 and this is used as the responsorial psalm for the feast of the birth of John the baptist (June, 24). When I listened to it, I appreciated it very much. Probably a second responsorial Psalm that touched me profoundly. The first one was during my period of discernment to join the Jesuits, “Happy are the ones the Lord has chosen as his own”.

I used the same Psalm (139,14) profoundly during my two Ignatian retreats and it profoundly touched many retreatants. I was praying with the same verse… there is a sense of gratefulness (which is wonderful). But am I taking pride (at least a hidden pride) in my wonderfulness, even though it accepts that God is the creator.

In Buddhist philosophy, they speak of the middle path. Aristotle would say that virtue lies in the middle of two vices. If we consider pride and self-deprecation/ self-belittlement as the vices on both sides, an appropriate self esteem is the virtue that lies in the middle. Most often we are in the binary framework where two things exist, pride and self-belittlement. Psalmist is inviting us for an appropriate self esteem, which is seeing me with all the wonderfulness as God created me.

The wonder of my being is not because of my achievements and talents. My achievements and talents may help me to realize them. But I think the wonder of my being goes deeper than that. As a Christian, I will say the wonder of my being is because I am a child of God, awesomely created. This child is infinitely loved. That’s the root of the wonder of my being. From there, all my talents and wonderful qualities come from.

The benefit or need of going deeper into this realm of wonder is that I wont forget wonder even when those talents or achievements are not so visible. I won’t forget the wonder of others, whose talents and achievements are not so visible for me.