Seeing the negatives alone

Some antidotes

arun simon
2 min readApr 6, 2024

A person with 7 large blessings and 3 minor struggles may be in worse mental and emotional state than a person with 7 struggles and 3 blessings. The point is not to compare, but a tendency to focus on the negatives can be a strong tendency of our life. In his book on Lazarus, Fr James Martin SJ speaks about 5 antidotes. I won’t say they are entirely new, but they are helpful in these situations.

  1. Gratitude : Can thank you become part of my life? Can I see the blessings? It is not denying the struggles, but with a purposeful intent, I focus also on the areas where I can be grateful for. A simple often forgotten blessing is our breath. Concentrating on breath can bring calmness; exhaling is a wonderful thing to try to get rid of some of our unwanted stored emotions.
  2. Memory : In the GenZ language, they call us to remember the glimmers of the day or the week. Whatever we call them, keeping the memory of positive experiences, blessings are balancing acts. They are not invitations to live in the past, but to derive the strength to live in the present.
  3. Grit : Sharing with a friend, counsellor or a mentor can help us to bring a new way of looking at things. When things are listened to by someone itself, half the issues are settled. You also get a different point of view to see things.
  4. Perspective : Its an invitation to look things from a different perspective. Can the responses be different or more fruitful in that new perspective? It helps us also to realize that our present perspective is not the ultimate one.
  5. Faith: Having a deep faith in God, who always walks with us and accompanies us is a good way to counter negativities. It always help us to see beyond the negative, probably seeing the event or the person in a new light.



arun simon

A Jesuit with all the crazyness… Loves Jesus…Loves church, but loves to challenge too… Loves post modern philosophy & Gilles Deleuze.. Loves deep conversations…