Where are you?

Can I trust the love even after sinning? Or Am I afraid?

The LORD God called to Adam and asked him, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden; but I was afraid, because I was naked, so I hid myself.” (First reading of today)

It’s important to look at this conversation between God and Adam. Obviously it’s a symbolic (or mythical) narrative. But through it, the author conveys a truth. God asks Adam where he is. Knowing that God is omnipotent, some of us can ask why God even need to ask such a question. But there is a relationship, and that is the starting point from where the question is asked — a question about the whereabouts of Adam (and Eve). Now the response of Adam is interesting. He doesn’t say where he was. He just says he is afraid. Yes, Adam and Eve have disobeyed God. But disobedience has to lead to fear only ? He felt ashamed that he is naked. So two feelings, fear and shame.

Yes, the later parts of the narrative speaks of God’s punishment of Adam, Eve and serpent. After sin (or atleast after the realization of sin), this is the first response towards God — shame, fear and guilt. Remember the younger son coming back to his father (story of prodigal father) — he too had shame, and guilt. But Father is not interested in those sentiments (not that Father denies them); he is not measuring them; he embraces him — the person of his son.

Even in the midst of our sins (pain, embarrassment, shame, guilt, fear and whatever sentiments and emotions), God (our father and mother) is embracing us. Now the question for us is, do I want to look at me at that moment from the point of view of God, or from the point of view of Satan (or serpent). Sadly some of our church preaching fail in this category. They continue to help us only to look from the point of view of Satan — to increase shame, guilt, fear etc. And sometimes, we have the beautiful narrative that it helps us to convert and transform.

Ask myself, where do I stand?

Today is also the feast of St Claude de la Colombière, a Jesuit priest who is known for the spreading of the devotion to Sacred Heart of Jesus along with St Margaret Mary. When Margaret Mary had the revelations of the heart of Jesus, Jesus asked her explicitly to make Claude de la Combière as her spiritual guide. I just want to quote a few lines from the recent encyclical of Pope Francis Dilexit Nos where he speaks about this saint (Obviously Pope Speaks of Margaret Mary and many others).

125. When Saint Claude de La Colombière learned of the experiences of Saint Margaret Mary, he immediately undertook her defence and began to spread word of the apparitions. Saint Claude played a special role in developing the understanding of devotion to the Sacred Heart and its meaning in the light of the Gospel.

126. Some of the language of Saint Margaret Mary, if poorly understood, might suggest undue trust in our personal sacrifices and offerings. Saint Claude insists that contemplation of the heart of Jesus, when authentic, does not provoke self-complacency or a vain confidence in our own experiences or human efforts, but rather an ineffable abandonment in Christ that fills our life with peace, security and decision.

Probably this gives us a lesson too. We too may have personal spiritual experiences, and they can be very much authentic. But an appropriate discernment is always required; and we should be very careful not to enter into an attitude that God and I are enough (forgetting the community) or to feel that I possess the entire truth with this experience (forgetting every other experience of the community).